The other day I clicked on a video of a young lady who does historical costuming, whose videos I normally like. Now, I don’t care about her politics and I’m not offended by her expressing her views – it’s her channel, after all. But the five minute diatribe on white privilege got old two minutes in. But besides the gigantic leaps in logic and the massive rewrite of history – that last bit being odd because she’s really pretty good about her historical research pertaining to costuming – one thing really stuck out: her commentary on the minorities (not sure she knows what this word means) not being ‘seen’ by the ‘privileged whites’ (definitely sure she doesn’t understand what ‘privileged’ means).

The gist of that statement seemed to me to be that white people were somehow doing some great wrong in not ‘seeing’ or ‘appreciating’ minorities of any stripe at all. I gave up as she claimed her own ‘whiteness’ (she’s Jewish as well but evidently that’s not underprivileged enough – she was very sincere and very hard to follow through her logic leaps) and proceeded down a second rabbit hole. Darn shame, really – the video topic looked interesting but a girl can only take so much raw stupidity at a sitting.

I am almost certainly not being fair enough – well, at least I’d rather let her speak for herself so the video is linked here. For the record, I’m still subscribed and even still a fan – not of her politics, obviously. So this isn’t a ‘lookie at the dumb leftie’ piece. No, I’m just providing the context for the part I do want to talk about – how incredibly sad it is that anyone thinks less of themselves because some idiot who happens to have a different skin color didn’t happen to notice them.

This isn’t the first time I’ve come across this notion. Oprah Winfrey tells a sad (to me) story about being happy that a white woman happened to compliment her on how pretty she was. Now, Oprah is from a different generation and a very different culture – and at that time and place, I can understand why it mattered to an impressionable child. I’m just glad the lady didn’t get in a rush and not notice the little girl – it’s the kind of moment that’s easy to miss when it’s not as significant to you.

But that was the 1950’s – we’ve moved on, thanks. Any black parents today raising their young ‘uns to seek their self worth from white people (FYI: black parents in the 1950’s didn’t do this) are morons. Fortunately, they are also way too stupid to manage to procreate so we don’t have to worry about little black children being fed nonsense about not being worthwhile unless a white person says so.

Who the ^#*%*!!)^&* are ANY COLOR PEOPLE to decide the worth of another person based on whether or not they are noticed? What IDIOT thinks this is anything but drivel? Your self worth comes from who you are when no one but you and God are watching and what you do with it – and your value as a human being comes from the fact that the Creator of the Universe LOVES YOU. You need God and you need God’s approval. You don’t need my approval no matter how lily white my skin is – and you shouldn’t care about my approval if all you know about me is that I turn white in the winter and tan in summer.

Here’s where I do take issue with the young lady – telling people, even indirectly, that they ‘need’ the recognition of another group of people in order to be validated as human beings is a lie straight from hell. Stop saying that crap.

My heritage is Welsh/Cherokee/Mutt – and proud of it. I get my hair from the Cherokee side (3 greats back) and my cream complexion from the Welsh (I blame the malformed thumb joints on the miscellaneous sides). And all of that tells you absolutely NOTHING about my worth as a human being. Tells you nothing about my journey through life – or how I was literally suicidal at the ripe old age of eight – nothing of any importance at all is revealed by my stupid skin color. So no one should care if I approve of them or not based on my lack of melanin nor should anyone assume that I have some magical ‘privilege’ because I can hide in a muslin factory.

Now that we have the obvious out of the way, let’s face reality – people do need to be noticed. When we feel ignored we feel bad about ourselves. This is normal and very human – and is not necessarily a bad thing. What IS a bad thing is when we let a normal need become an obsession to the point that we don’t like ourselves if others don’t notice us. This is just as dumb as needing to be noticed by a skin color walking by – and can be just as tragic.

Here’s the hard part to hear: no one owes you their attention simply because you are there. If people pass you by, the first question to ask isn’t ‘what color are they’ or ‘why don’t they like me’ but ‘what can I do to get the good attention I want’? Sitting on the sidewalk feeling sorry for yourself is okay for a few minutes – we all need a little time sometime – but it doesn’t get you what you want and need, does it? So what will?

Can you volunteer somewhere? Can you join a group doing something interesting? Join a church or other religious group (if you aren’t Christian or seeking information about Christianity) Learn to juggle and stand in the street juggling? Stop dwelling on the can’t – that gets you nothing – and start finding a ‘can’. Get up off the sidewalk, dust yourself off and go try something. If that doesn’t work, try something else.

Sooner or later, you’ll find something you’re good at and people who appreciate you for being there doing it. Who knows, maybe you’ll start a historical costuming channel and have tons of subscribers – most of whom don’t blog about something stupid you said.

What you will never find is your self worth in the approval of those who have no reason to give it. What you will find is that as your confidence increases with practice, your self worth increases because you are accomplishing your goal – and not because someone else happened to notice you.

This is just as true for groups as individuals – if you don’t like how things are, figure out good ways to change them. Don’t seek approval from a color – seek it from those who have accomplished the thing you want to do. And at the end of the day, know that your self worth is just between you and God – and no stranger’s opinion matters.