Dear Alvin,

First off, thanks for taking time from your busy job of not protecting the people of Manhattan from rampant street crime. You have your hands full, we know, trying to convince your constituents that they are better off without any of that tiresome prosecution of criminals. That makes your contribution to our cause so much more meaningful.

We admit, we were a little concerned when you were running for the District Attorney position, what with all that ‘I’ll get you Gadget’, er ‘Trump’ talk in your campaign. It kinda sounded like you might not be on President Trump’s side. We were ever so pleasantly surprised to find out differently.

We have to confess, we didn’t catch on right at first. After all, being prosecuted isn’t usually a good thing. Having our dear President Trump brought up on such obviously, if you’ll forgive the pun, trumped up charges. It was a bit bewildering, given your position as a Democrat, when you proceeded despite numerous legal experts on the blue side questioning your sanity in bringing the charges. Forgive us, but we thought you were up to no good.

You can’t imagine our relief and joy to find that you were such a strong Trump supporter! Also our amazement at the brilliance of your plan to guarantee President Trump the Republican nomination and the 2024 election! Never in a million years would we have thought to bring imbecilic charges regarding a pathetically bad case in order to boost President Trump!

You’ll have to admit, any case that the Department of Justice, anything but a friend of our dear President Trump, had to drop as a huge nothing burger isn’t a promising venue to increase President Trump’s standing with the public. We assumed when you picked the thrice discarded file out of the trash that it was the desperate act of a rabid Democrat with a law degree.

Never would we have dared to imagine that you would turn it into such a masterwork of political counterstrikes! As much as we love our dear President Trump, he can be a tad, shall we say, contentious. With such a boring lead up to the primaries, he was getting a bit restless. Democrat strategists had obviously noticed and had begun to prick the bear in hopes of setting off a fight between President Trump and Governor DeSantis in the obvious hope of luring Gov. DeSantis into the race.

We can’t fault Governor DeSantis. As much as we love Dear President Trump he had been a bit too contentious where Governor DeSantis was concerned. It is understandable that he was getting a bit testy himself. However, a real slugfest for the nomination, even if the results were a foregone conclusion, would have weakened either candidate going into the election.

Granted, it’s hard to imagine that the Democrats could come up with any candidate worse than Joe Biden but they seem to be trying. Also, we have no intention of allowing any further election shenanigans. There will be no repeat of 2020. Regardless, we don’t want even the tiniest chance of yet another incompetent Democrat warming the seat for another four years.

Thanks to you, we no longer have to worry about that! We must say, you’re amazing, DA Bragg! You took a pathetic excuse for a legal case and turned it into a solid win for President Trump! Donations to our dear President Trump’s campaign have gone through the roof with no end in sight!

If we’d known fund raising could be that easy, we’d have indicted him ourselves!

The important thing now is that the nomination is secure and the election campaign can begin in earnest. It would be nice to know who exactly President Trump will be running against but mustn’t be greedy. We can just assume Biden will actually run and go from there. It’s not like it will make any difference now.

Well, we just want to close with our heartfelt congratulations, DA Bragg. You have singlehandedly destroyed any chance the Democrat Party had of holding on to the presidency and with it, likely destroyed the Democrat Party itself!

The way you backstabbed them, it’s almost as if the Democrats were your constituents.