Phasers on maximum!
The problem we have as Americans is that we expect automation to work even when we apply the concept to things that shouldn’t be automated. Hint: self driving cars are not a great plan. Drone cars, however…
Governing our overgrown, sassy and fat government is another of those things we shouldn’t automate but, boy, howdy, do we ever try! If the choice is Twitter or actually reading a whole newspaper article, well, half of you couldn’t find a newspaper and the other half can’t unfold it. You might read the whole article online, but only if you really, really cared about the issue. Otherwise, Twitter wins and you grumble when old people make fun of your tiny attention span.
In reality, Twitter is no substitute for a well written article. A good video can come pretty close, though. So no, you don’t have to actually buy a set of encyclopedias – good luck trying – but you also can’t settle for everything that fits in 140 characters. Grown up is hard, yes, we know.
You also can’t turn your back on the vampire.
This is hard to explain to the Twilight generation. I hate to break it to you, but vampires are walking corpses. Takes all the romance out of it, doesn’t it? The problem with vampires is how incredibly hard they are to really, truly, ‘it’s dead, Jim’ KILL, especially if the vampire is played by Christopher Lee.
Look it up, whippersnapper!
I wrote Wednesday that the Left had been dealt a death blow. I stand by that assertion but with this caveat – make sure the corpse is really, truly dead. Human beings are resilient, wily, resourceful and stubborn which means they don’t give up easy when they don’t want to. If we act like the hero at the end of the vampire movie and walk out of the tomb after the stake has been driven through the vampire’s heart and it turns to dust, we’re making the same mistake.
Scatter those danged ashes, you idiot!
Some moron will rummage through that coffin in a few months and cut himself on a nail. That one drop of blood will reconstitute the vampire and next thing he knows, there’s a corpse sucking his blood. Cue the intro music.
Sure, it sounds stupid and it’s a movie trope, but politics is full of people that will make those dumb movie tropes into reality. The Left has made a career out of irrational dogmatic clinging to idiotic ideologies that have literally been repeatedly disproven. Worse, they don’t even have cool intro music!
The vampire has a lovely stake through its little black heart but it’s still thrashing around. The fight is won, but it’s not over. First we make danged sure that corpse is dead. Then we make absolutely sure it stays that way!
We have to not only defeat the Left but systematically dismantle all the garbage they have created. Yes, we know, grown up is hard. It’s also complicated – some of that junk is the baby, not the bathwater and we have to sort out what is what. This will not be fun. But it must be done.
All those debates we never really had have to be refought. The young uns are going to learn the hard way that scientists put pants on one leg at a time and can and do lie. It’s hard when your clergy lets you down, we know. But maybe stop putting people on pedestals and quit wondering why they fall off. They came in the same size you did – Size Human. No one comes in Size Perfect.
No one not born of a virgin a couple thousand years ago, anyway.
So there’s going to be that painful part where you learn that what they taught you in school wasn’t true. Welcome to Grown Up. Sure, it’s hard but it’s worth it, we promise. Then there’s all the fussing, fighting and feuding trying to figure out what actually is true – okay, this part can be fun, I admit. Long and tedious, with occasional bouts of fun, but most importantly, it’s all necessary. The first step to straightening out our country is straightening out ourselves.
Me and my generation won’t be around for Part II. It’ll be left to you meddling kids to make really sure that vampire stays really truly dead. Your kids will be just as stupid as you are. It’s okay – they will grow out of it like every generation before them – but they will not know what you do. If you don’t want them having a vampire sucking them dry, teach them well. Warn them about the dangers. But much more importantly, teach them how to think for themselves. Not merely being opinionated little jerks – they come that way – but how to reason well enough to work out the obvious for themselves.
Don’t rummage around in coffins, you idiots!
