First off, Portland does NOT have a ‘homeless problem’. The problem is gross political mismanagement. It’s not the citizen’s job to fix the problems caused by homeless people or to fulfill the promises made to those people. THAT job belongs to government. It’s past time the people of Portland made their government do its job.

There are plenty of commentators who can explain how Portland got itself into this mess. I’m going to address how Portlanders can get themselves out. Get this straight, government is entirely to blame. It’s your responsibility as residents of Portland to make the city government get off its lazy backside and fix both sides of the issue: getting squatters/homeless/campers out of residential neighborhoods and off the public streets as well as providing not only shelters but real housing, treatment both for drug and mental illness and employment.

Stop freaking out. Portland’s city revenue was $4.5 Billion, with a B, in fiscal year 2020. Portland residents likely haven’t gotten a huge tax cut since then. Translation: Portland has more than enough money.

But, but, they have expenses!

Sure, but they are bloated as all get out. Time for some budget cuts, Porty! Check for yourself – link in the description or on the blog. Start with cutting some of those salaries. Then dump the duplicate administrative departments. Say bye-bye to all the extraneous stuff that doesn’t directly serve the residents.

Whenever government tells you they don’t have enough money, look at the books. Government’s count on people being too lazy or too uninterested to have a good look at all the nonsense they are paying for and that people will just sign off on a new tax increase instead. Sure, sometimes government legitimately needs more money but that’s when the government is well run and the tax payers are asking it to take on new responsibility. First get the well run part down, then talk taxes.

Problem One solved. Plenty of cash to work with and the Mayor didn’t need that desk anyway.

Now to get down to the real work. Portland’s news is covered with besieged homeowners telling of countless calls to City Hall and the endless bureaucracy. This has been going on for at least two years now. Time for a different game plan, Portlanders.

1. The homeless are not the problem. Government is. The object is to improve Portland for everybody, home owner and homeless alike. Step one is become allies.
2. Step Two is to stop grumbling to each other in your respective neighborhoods. Find a large venue or church that will host at cost (you clean up after yourselves) and hold a city wide meeting of neighborhood associations and representatives. Don’t invite the City.
3. Get organized. You will need a boatload of volunteers. First up should be folks with the skills to set up your websites and social media. You have GOT to stay in touch and stick together if you want anything to change.
4. Decide your timeframe. Three months max. Work out all the organizational stuff, who’s doing what, and what, exactly, you want the City to do. Don’t tell the City how to do it – that’s their job.
5. Tell the City what to do. List your demands. Give them a VERY short deadline. The City has had two years plus. They will only squander more time so don’t give them more than a week for the first demand to be met or significantly addressed.
6. The City will fail. This isn’t accidental – it’s very deliberate. The City wants you trapped in the bureaucratic Mobius strip so that the City doesn’t actually have to do its job. So they will come back whimpering about how impossible and unreasonable and not their fault and every other garbage excuse the City government can muster. The City has already had plenty of time and money. Accept no excuses.
7. Now the real fun begins. Camping out all over City Hall. Dress professionally, act respectfully and have a very well organized schedule so no one gets fatigued. Volunteers with cameras, the list of demands and a well scripted and rehearsed talking point are going to stay in the public areas of City Hall during business hours EVERY DAY. FYI, the lobby to the Mayor’s office counts.
8. Involve the media. You can do this from the time you present your demands but you absolutely must do it now. Every local outlet, blogger, journalist, newspaper, flypaper – ANYTHING that can get the word out. The word you want out is whether or not the City made progress today. Every day. Accountability on steroids is what you are after.
9. By this time the City will be desperately trying to turn the home owners and homeless into enemies – don’t you let them! The home owners just want their rights as property owners and tax payers upheld. The homeless just want their needs as residents and tax payers (sales tax counts!) met. The City made this mess, not the residents. Keep the focus on making government clean up the mess it made.
10. Start finding city properties and demand that they be made available to the homeless. That parking lot behind City Hall will be a great start. The Council doesn’t care if you are tripping over drug addicts but they will care if they have to do it. No more throwing out the person’s belongings – the City never had that right anyway. Nope. the City can find decent housing now or it can, at its expense (the Mayor doesn’t need a salary he doesn’t earn), move the homeless onto city property and provide for them until housing is made available.
11. Start billing the City rent for every day that a homeless encampment obstructs use or enjoyment of private property. All of it. $100/day/property seems reasonable. Hire lawyers and head to court if the bills aren’t paid. Cities have a constitutional duty to provide recompense for private property put to government use. Your lawyers will explain.
12. Finally, the hard part. The City is counting on your organization to break apart over internal tensions and just plain fatigue. Keep it up anyway. If you quit, the City wins. IF you don’t quit, the City will lose. It’s all on you, Residents of Portland. Do you want things to get better badly enough to keep fighting City Hall?

In case I wasn’t clear, stop playing ring around the rosie with the city bureaucracy. The Mayor is in charge and the Mayor is the only person to direct your demands and activities towards. If the Mayor needs another department called, he or she can do it him or her self.

Will all that stuff work? Yes. Quickly? Probably since elections are just around the corner. Realistically, it will take some time – think of it as the process of teaching a really stupid dog how to sit. It’s annoying, frustrating, time consuming and seems pointless, until the day that pooches hinny plops on the floor. Okay, government is worse than a stupid dog but it can be trained. It just takes determination and persistence.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help people but your government isn’t helping anyone, Portlanders. It’s your dog and you’re responsible for it.

Keep that in mind next time you are filling out a ballot.