Back when I was in college – in that awkward time between disco and Who Shot JR? – my professors of Political Science all agreed that it was a very bad idea to do anything to the opposition party that you didn’t want them to do to you. This wasn’t a nod to the Golden Rule – it was an extremely pragmatic bit of advise based on the one absolute rule of politics – political winds ALWAYS change.

Eventually, the opposition party gets back in power and they get to do whatever silly thing you did. Remember that nuclear option y’all we’re so upset about the Republicans using a few years back? Well, they didn’t start that – Democrats did almost a decade earlier.

I know, it’s tough having to wait – delayed gratification isn’t something the post millennial generations are used to which amazes us Baby Boomers because we thought we were the entitled, impatient ones. Anyway, yes, it’s tough, but you’re going to have to learn how to do it – if you ever want to make any of those changes you keep harping about.

I admit, I think a lot of the fuss is because the big battles have already been fought. Even if we assume that America is still somehow racist it’s also far and away the least racist nation on Earth – and where does that leave you armchair warriors? Democrat policy have objectively worsened every problem they tried to solve so if you don’t have racism to fight, you’re stuck cleaning up your own mess.

We’ve all been there – no one ever wants to clean their room. We all want to tilt at windmills and vanquish our much weaker foes so we can feel that we’ve done something meaningful – that’s human. But it leaves you with messed up windmills and badly bullied little kids – there’s no good meaning in that.

So you need to do the hard part – start trying to really understand the world around you before you try to fix it. That takes a lot more than reading a few chapters of whatever text the prof had you spend your parent’s money on. It’s scary, listening to views you don’t like. It’s hard, admitting that just having a different way of looking at a problem doesn’t make someone evil. And it takes a lot of real work to find solutions to complex problems and make sure those solutions won’t do more harm than good.

It’s time to grow up, Democrats.

Now, now, stop that. We aren’t talking about your brother Republicans – we are talking about you. Whether they do stupid things or not doesn’t justify the stupid stuff you’ve been doing – mostly to yourselves.

We did try to warn you that there would be reprisals if you kept annoying everyone – well, yesterday was only a taste of what is to come. Truth is, I doubt you can salvage the midterms at this point. That’s really incredible – normally it’s way, way too early to gage the midterms but you’ve gotten EVERYONE mad at you. Look at yourselves – you’re even mad at each other. No wonder you can’t get anything done.

And about that – you aren’t the boss of the world. If you want people to do things the way you think they should be done, quit trying to force your policies on people. Learn how to convince them…

That’s enough of that – college doesn’t make you a better or a smarter human being so stop looking down your nose at those without college degrees. That’s just stupid – those are the people that actually do things, run businesses, hold down jobs and make a real difference in other people’s lives.

Well, maybe a double major in Gender Studies and Prehistoric Basket Weaving wasn’t the best idea – you’ll just have to make the most of it now.

I believe your heart is in the right place – you want to make a difference, a meaningful one, and help make the world a better place. Trouble is, you think you’re a brain surgeon when you are only playing Operation – with several missing pieces.

No, the Republicans don’t have all the answers – their leg up on you is that they know they don’t have all the answers so they are more willing to listen to others.

Sweetie, you sat in the street with purple hair and screamed at people with a megaphone – of course they didn’t listen to someone acting like that kind of a fool. Listening is a two way street.

Put those fingers in your ears again and see whether or not you ever sit down again. … That’s better. As I was saying, to get others to listen to you you first have to be willing to listen to others.

Of course not everyone will listen – but most will if you give them a real chance. But no one is going to listen to someone who doesn’t respect them as a person – if you want respect you must show respect.

It would help if you’d get rid of the purple hair and nose ring, but as long as you are respectful most people will hear you out even if you do look like an explosion in a Kool Aid factory.

The other benefit is that you will be exposed to new ideas – and new ways of looking at the world. That will help you figure out what actually will help – I assure you, screaming at people through a megaphone isn’t it.

The midterms? No, I don’t think you can win – but if you get started now, you might at least stem some of the worst of the bleeding. 2024? Too far away to say – but you’re going to have to work extra hard to have a shot then.

Oh now, don’t cry – it’s a big mess and it takes time to earn back people’s trust. Stop screaming ‘racist’ at everyone and get to work learning about others so you can find real solutions that actually work. It’s going to take some time and it’s going to be a lot of hard work, but if you try really hard, you just might do it.

But if you don’t, I don’t think you have a future in American politics.