I used to roll my eyes halfway back into my head every time that my mother said those words to me. It’s a wonder I can still see as many times as I did that. Anytime I was stupid enough to say to my mom “I can’t” she would turn around, look me in the eye and remind me that ‘Can’t never could’.

My eyes hurt just thinking about it.

Those of you under thirty who are still convinced your parents are idiots won’t yet understand how annoying it is to realize that your parents were right and you were the idiot. I rolled my eyes almost into oblivion for nothing. I’d have saved myself a lot of trouble if I’d only understood just how profound my mother’s words were.

Annoying and profound is even more annoying when you finally get it, just so you know.

There are a ton of self help and motivational books that will tell you how much mindset – what you believe – matters. Some of them get a little overly excited trying to explain how this works. Turns out, my mom did the whole thing in three words.

It’s simple, really. If you believe something is too hard or impossible, you only half way try if you try at all. Once you have confirmed that you can’t yet do the thing, you promptly give up.

Self fulfilling prophesy, anyone?

I can’t skateboard because I chickened out and wouldn’t really try. I can (could, stupid knee) ride a bike because Daddy held on to the back of that thing until I was too busy peddling to notice how scared I was. Mr. Looney (his real name) did the same thing when he taught me to roller skate. I will never be anyone’s idea of a great batter but I can hit the ball.

Heck, no baby learns to walk without falling – a lot. Babies just don’t know that give up is an option, so they keep plopping on their backsides until they just walk minus the falling part.

Now, positive thinking may be a great idea but my superpowers still haven’t shown up. It’s okay to admit you can’t do the impossible. Jumping over a tall building may not be in your future, but that doesn’t mean you can’t jump rope or even just jump!

Believing you can won’t change the impossible into the possible but believing you can’t will change the possible into the impossible.

You are like all the rest of us humans – you’re going to act on what you believe. If you believe gravity makes stepping off a roof a bad idea, you opt out of that first step. That’s what it’s supposed to do. But you can sabotage yourself by believing possible things are impossible.

If I can do math, so can you. If Tom can run a marathon, so can you. If Mary can be an entrepreneur, so can you. If someone else can do it, it is NOT impossible.

The question is only do you want to do whatever it is badly enough to put in the work?

But, but, I might fail!

Bingo. That’s the real issue, isn’t it? We can get so scared of being a failure that we’d rather not try or not try hard enough.

So what if you fail at something? You’re not a failure.

Suppose you are me, short, non-thin, old, cranky white lady. If you REALLY want to be in the NBA, first you have to learn to shoot a basket.

You’re thinking ‘crazy old fool, she can’t be in the NBA’, right? Am I failure for not being a 7 foot tall man forty years younger? Of course not. Maybe I can’t be in the NBA, but I can still learn to shoot a basket.

If I want to badly enough to put in the work.

But if you’re a young man who plays basketball constantly and dreams of being on a court as a professional player, who, exactly, says you can’t? It’s a hard goal to achieve but people do it all the time – otherwise there wouldn’t be an NBA.

The biggest difference isn’t talent – way more guys have that than can fill out the NBA’s rosters. No, the biggest difference between you and those guys on that court is that they put in the time and effort to go from good to professional. There was never a question of capability but persistence.

Those guys that busted their backsides and didn’t make the cut? They aren’t failures. That’s just life. But the effort wasn’t wasted. Few young men can even say they tried out. Having developed the persistence and determination to make could into can, those guys have an invaluable skill set to apply to their next goal – or to next year.

Mr. Looney was the owner of the skating rink where my girl scout troop went to learn and earn our skating badges. For four weeks I showed up with the rest and would go back and forth on the handrail at the back of the rink. I wasn’t confident in my balance or physical ability, but I kept trying the only way I knew how. At the end of the four weeks, I still couldn’t skate but Mr. Looney told my mom to bring me that Saturday. He didn’t explain anything really, he just skated with me and wouldn’t let me cling to my crutch – the handrail. I didn’t fall and we went around and around the middle of that rink.

Roller skating isn’t really my thing but that not quitting thing? That has served me very well. It’s why I learned to skate at all. It’s why I graduated college. It’s why I had a professional career. Not the best, brightest or most talented, and I had my share of things I failed at but when I wouldn’t quit, that’s when I learned the most. It’s also when I succeeded.

When I stopped saying ‘I can’t’ I started learning how much I could. Failure is a fact of life – it’s not scary. Not living because you’re too scared to try, THAT’S scary.

A skinned knee or a bruised ego aren’t so bad. Giving up, that’s the same thing as believing you’re not worth the effort. That’s never true – not ever.

Of course you can. Do you want to badly enough to put in the work? Turn your impossible into possible – try. If nothing else, you’ll have a great story.

Or become the next Michael Jordan.

What does any of this have to do with politics? In a democratic republic? EVERYTHING.

The Constitution is designed to prevent the concentration of power in any one place – not just any one branch. But it derives its power to do so from the same place government derives its legitimacy: people. Specifically citizens but the real power is in the people. Unless they start believing that they cannot control their government.

If you believe you can, you will try. You might fail but you also might succeed. If you believe you can’t, you’ve already failed because you will never really try.

The only way for evil to win is for good men to do nothing. The easiest way to get good men to do nothing is to get them to convince themselves that they cannot succeed. It’s also the only way to destroy America.

The real power is in the people. This is true regardless of governmental system but it is most especially true of a democratic republic. Despite what your government teacher said, the US is a democratic republic, one we can lose if We the People become the We the Cannots.

It’s just as true for America as it was when my mom said it to me. Can’t never could.

But Can? Can do!