Yes, I know you’re all busy with this political divide stuff and the crazy unconstitutional stuff. All of that is important and we do have to deal with the ideological issues that are threatening to divide us. But have a seat for a moment – there’s something you need to know.

The rest of the world sees us as John Wayne, swaggering in to save the day. And who wouldn’t want to be John Wayne? We’re Americans – our blood type is ‘swagger’! Besides all that we’re still very much a Christian nation at heart – we don’t leave the hurting and defenseless to the nonexistent mercies of the bad guy – that’s just not us.

What the rest of the world forgets is that John Wayne always got to ride off into the sunset, or marry the gal and settle down. That’s our American ideal – go save the day then go home and have 3.5 kids and a mortgage. Well, maybe the house and not the mortgage but you know what we mean.

Isolationism is our Rh factor – we Americans are blood type Swagger Isolationist. Says so on our birth certificate and everything. We swagger in to save the day and go home and bar the door. It’s what makes us a great nation – and a safe nation to be around.

Here’s the bad part – we are now the biggest heroes on the block. We’ve gotten so big in fact that the rest of the block NEEDS us to keep the peace – at least the messy parts. We should have gotten on that horse and headed for that sunset sooner but it’s too late now. We’re the sheriff – shiny tin badge and all – whether we like it or not.

Sure, everyone grumbles about us – and to be fair, we have made our share of mistakes – but they still want us to be the sheriff. Not because we’re powerful – that just let’s us actually do the job – and not because they like us so much, but because we’re the only nation that can really be trusted with the job.

Why? Simple – WE DON’T WANT THE DANGED JOB! We’d much rather turn the badge over to Deputy EU and go home. It’s past time for supper, gosh darn it! We did our swagger, saved the world and now it’s time to go home, right?

Right?

No, because Deputy EU wouldn’t last a week – it’s just not his thing anymore. The problem is that the Russia Boys and the China Gang both want to take over the town – and we’re the only thing between them and the townsfolk. If we don’t do the job, Russia and China will – and no one will be the better for it.

We’re far from perfect. We’re total jerks sometimes. But we don’t use our power to conquer – we actually give back most of what we take in war – and we don’t want to take over the world. We don’t even want to be the world’s policeman – and that is what makes the United States perfect for the job.

Time changes things. We will get our day in the sunset – eventually. The Wild West will be civilized – and it will involve just as much kicking and screaming as the original did. The world will change and will find new and creative ways to annoy the heck out of each other without the need to worry that someone will pull the proverbial gun.

But that’s in the future. Right now, this old world is pretty much a giant kindergarten with really deadly toys. We will have to swagger in and save the day many more times – but we can’t ride off into the sunset.

Yet.